Prayer time and optimism

I have started a daily prayer process that is working for me.  It came from a book by Matthew Kelly entitled “Resisting Happiness”.

The process is so simple.

Begin with gratitude.  Thank God in a personal dialogue for whatever you are most grateful for.

Next comes awareness where you look back over the past 24 hours to see where you weren’t the best version of yourself.  Look for significant moments and explore what God might be trying to tell you.

Peace – ask God for forgiveness for any wrong you have committed against another person or yourself and to fill you with deep abiding peace.

Freedom – speak with God about how you are being invited to change your life.  How you can become the best version of yourself.

Others – lift up anyone you feel called to pray for today asking God to bless and guide them.

Then pray the Our Father.

A great and optimistic way to start the day.  Amen.

 

Progress not perfection.

The one goal that I have managed to accomplish for the whole month of January was to make my bed every morning. The other goals like walking Zoe every morning and spending 15 minutes in quiet prayer time have already fallen by the way side.  I do feel being aware of frailties and where I fall short is important reminders of living in the present and that as a member of the human race I will never achieve perfection or even close to perfection.  I am off to make my bed and I will walk Zoe this morning.  It is all progress not perfection.

Grace again

“I do not at all understand the mystery of grace – only that it meets us where we are but does not leave us where it found us”  Anne Lamott

The illness I have has made every day dear.  I try to remember that any time spent on fear, gossip, or worry is time stolen from this big beautiful life.  It is a constant struggle not to fall back into the familiar ways of doing things.  The “one day I will do that or do better or say that thing on my heart.”

Grace doesn’t leave us where it finds us.  I am convinced of that.


Cancer Sucks

Today I am going to the funeral of a kind, smart, compassionate man whom I didn’t know well but who always took the time to say hello and ask how I was doing.  Johny Bower you were and are loved and will be missed by friends and family and anyone who had any contact with you.  Such a loss.

Life can be unpredictable, hard, sweet, fulfilling.  I am on borrowed time in many ways.  I say I accept that reality but do I truly accept it?

I will live fully today.  That’s the best I can do today.

 

 

Good bye 2016 – not sorry you to see you go!

It has been a tough year.  Many of my friends have died of metastatic breast cancer.  The future is uncertain for everyone.  This year has been a great teacher.  Reminders every day that the future is not promised.  Each day, each hour is not to be squandered.  I am trying to be present for my life.  It is something I have to consciously focus on.  Prayer helps.  May 2017 be a wonderful year.

Going forward – again

I found out Thursday that the current chemo drugs had quit working.  The nice way to put it is that there has been progression.  Going to start a new IV chemotherapy regime this Thursday.  The news was disappointing and I did ruminate about it for the rest of the day.  But can’t ruin the now.  Moving forward again.

Who do you love?

I have been thinking about this question a lot lately.  Since I was diagnosed with cancer I have been more open and real about questions like this.  I make every effort to be current, to be truthful and to be loving to friends, family and strangers.  I have so far to go.  Who do I love?

Conquering my own faults…

I have had an opportunity to face some truths about myself over the course of having terminal cancer.  These truths have not always been pleasant or comfortable.  I believe each day I have on this earth is an opportunity to do better.  To show and practice love and respect for others.  It’s the only path towards peace and tranquility.  I see my faults and I am conquering them though compassion.

Turn on Tune In Drop Out

I have been plugged in to politics, 30 Rock, HGTV and other assorted things on television.  I spent almost two weeks in bed with side effects from this oral chemo and used television as a pacifier, entertainer and pal.  What I have learned through this is I need to give my brain and my soul time to breathe. To decompress.  To think about God, faith and healing.  A good lesson and reminder to slow down and to tune in.

Live, love and pray

Changed it up a bit since eating has let me down.  I am scared today because waiting on results from scans.  Hoping not to get call from doctor because that is always bad news.  Just hoping to get results tomorrow at regular doctor visit.  It has been difficult…every ache and pain or new side effect is scary.  I have many more things I want to do.  Not ready yet.  I am reaching out to God and trying to establish a closer relationship.  Every day I hope it’s getting stronger.